"The Sound of Sin"-Part 1

Hey Benjamin,
I didn’t know where to post this review because you split your story into four parts. You have a lot of talent here, my friend. I just spent like two hours listening to “The Sound of Sin” in four parts. It was really slow at first. I didn’t really know what was going on, but I stuck with it. It got much more interesting when the teacher showed up again. Some of the dialogue was really bad and unrealistic. I wanted to write this story as really silly, especially when she blends into the toilet seat. I thought that it was almost a parody or a joke. Now, I realize that “it’s all about the shapes.” You don’t really have a voice for radio. This was probably hard to read. The language is a little too wordy for me, and that’s what will hold it back. The story was actually pretty sad and poignant. She sacrificed her sight for the man that she loved. It’s a little cliché, but it was done pretty well here. I also really liked some of the voice work. Koldewey’s a pretty scary guy; he’s definitely got issues with voices. I noticed that you referred to Irene as “Meredith” in one part, but I’m sure that was just a mistake. This was a really beautiful story, though. I liked that Irene loved Laurence before she ever saw him, and he was the first face that she ever saw. I wish that I had a friend like that. Laurence is a lucky guy. Are you criticizing people for judging each other based on looks? Also, do you have something against women? Irene took a pretty brutal beating from Koldewey. Sometimes, she was a little too emotional for me. I know that I sound critical, but this story almost mad me cry. It really is that good. I loved the happy but bittersweat ending. It shows what is really important in life.

Thanks for the review, Big Nerd. I really appreciate your feedback and compliments. They are very encouraging to me.

Benjamin Ashley

my noble kin,
the greatest, and most thoughtful story has been laid upon my ears! a true artwork of vocablary, feelings & a bright atmosphere. your fabulous work, or should i say "masterpiece", has left my heart entirely baffled and steeped in utmost fascination & bewitchment. please do keep up your incredible performance and your well-awaited supplies of exuberant stories.
let me tell you how younger i am compared to you, almost 6-7 years younger.
you have become my idol, my mentor. i shall try my best to follow in your footsteps. i also happen to be the best writer amongst my class, amongst all my sections in my grade. now i have a true idol to look up to. brother, i am inspired, i am captivated, i have stepped into the tempting hypnotic trance, by hearing your sensational story. my bro, you are truly a prodigy, an asset to be proud of. it would surely be a privilege to meet you. Please go on. you have a very rare callibre. after hearing your work, it seems as if this excellent writing is something you have been endowed with personaly by God,and not only a mere hobby skill.
rock on!
cheers :)