making babies
there's a first time for everything. this is about the first time i ever had sex.
Evokes so many different emotions in less than four minutes: a bit of humor, cynicism, sadness and etc. It is beautifully read as well. It is so much more than simply a story about losing one's virginity. Lovely!
Heartbreaking. Funny. Sad. Evoking emotions I didn't think I had.
I hope you find a place to publish this, because your writing craft is unbelievable.
Falling to your knees, crying in the fetal position--such irony. Such isolation.
So Nick from Fredonia is coitus partner?!
For a three minute piece... damn.
*Umm, just a thing the reader may want included: You should mention WHY, after recently learning of your young sisters pregnancy, you decide to leave the "virginal hell."
*Also, a great voice. I thought I was listening to a national NPR show.
Brutally honest, sometimes serious and sometimes playful, with a dash of self-deprecation, all without being overly sentimental.
I especially like the way the protagonist explains her severe 20 minute post-coitus reaction to her partner, and then the perspective transitions easily to her inner monologue, giving the reader insight to her logical(?) thought process which has prompted this set of emotions.
Nick from Fredonia frenched me and touched my butt. HAHAHAHA.
